When Kids Are (and their parents?) are Jerks

I haven't blogged in such a long time, and wasn't sure how, or even if, I was going to jump back into it. So I thought I would just dive in with what is on my heart at this moment. It's mostly just to vent, but maybe someone can relate to the situation or my observations.

Kids can be jerks. They fight, then they make up, and that's totally normal. We've been through our share of drama for sure with a 10 year old daughter. When our kid is the jerk we always make her apologize and work the problem out, and of course we talk to her about it and take appropriate action when necessary. But this is different.

Sometimes you or your child has a problem with another kid. When that child is a family friend, a classmate, or a neighbor, you're kind of stuck with them. That's happened to us before. But instead of banning our daughter from that person we just taught her to always be nice and include everyone. It's never ok to be mean or ugly, or leave someone out on purpose. Be a good example, and treat others the way you want to be treated.

Of course we're not perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, especially kids. But when we do make the inevitable mistakes we apologize and make it right. And if there was a problem I thought was really serious or dangerous, I'd try to talk the the child's parent's. We shouldn't hold a grudge against children.

Which leads me to the venting part of this post. What are you supposed to do when your child is being completely shunned by a whole group, including the adults? What do you do when another parent seems to think you're child is so awful that their kids may not even be around them, much less talk to them, and certainly not play with them. But suddenly anytime your kid goes out to play, everyone runs, sometimes at the apparent request of their parents. Sometimes they have to go in the house when your child is out. What if those kids also tell all the other kids not to play with your daughter, because she's "not nice"? (She is nice, by the way.) All of a sudden you're only child is playing all alone, just a short distance away from the rest of the group. She's told she's only allowed in front of her house because the other kids aren't allowed to interact with her at all. If any kid comes to play with yours, they are quickly told by another not to talk to her. Not wanting to be best friends with someone is one thing, but actively ostracizing another person is different. Trying to get the whole block to do the same is on a whole other level. What if this situation has gone on for 6 months? That's right people, SIX MONTHS. This is getting seriously old.

I also want to add that my daughter is the kindest, most thoughtful, sweet funny, talented, smart, AMAZING girl. Of course I'm required to say that, because I'm her mother. But she really is. She has lots of great friends in many other circles, especially at school and in the dance community, and never has any issues with them. Is she perfect? Of course not. She is an only child, so she can sometimes be bossy, and even a little selfish, and she definitely has a temper. Show me a child that doesn't occasionally demonstrate these traits. But she's also fiercely loyal, incredibly giving, honest to a fault, and an amazing friend. If you don't know her you're missing out.

I've heard about any and all events that may have led up to this surreal situation. My daughter and I have gone over every little detail, to see what she could have possibly done to warrant such a severe reaction. I know there have been arguments between kids. I've heard some of them, I also know they weren't earth shattering, and that there have also been apologies. I have racked my brain, and come up with nothing that could possibly explain this kind of behavior. And honestly, the more I think about it, I fail to come up with any situation in which treating a child this way is appropriate. Regardless of what happened, don't kids deserve forgiveness and second chances? And if the problem has to do with myself, or my husband, we have not been made aware of it. We don't even know these people, I don't know what their issue with us could possibly be.

I can tell my sweet daughter a million times how amazing she is, and not to let ugly people affect her, but when it's shoved in her face daily how can it not? Especially when adults are condoning it? Who treats a child that way? It's both infuriating and heartbreaking.

Either the parents are actively promoting this (which looks to be the case), or they're just ignoring it, either of which is wrong. I know you'll all tell me to go talk to the people in question and find out what the problem is so we can work it out. That's obviously the solution. Trust me, I've tried to work up the nerve to do that. The mere thought of confrontation makes me completely panic. Not to mention, I worry that if I do approach them it will only get worse. I really thought the issue would go away, as they usually do with kids (and should). But 6 months later we're still here. And it's honestly ridiculous, and doesn't seem like something that actually happens in real life.

In the end, my child wants to be done with this. She only wants to play outside drama free, minus the glaring looks and cattiness.

Thanks for listening! It may not seem like a big deal, and it seriously shouldn't be. But I imagine the effect on a child's self esteem can't be good when not only kids but adults are acting in this manor towards them. I imagine it probably makes you wonder if you really are that bad of a person. All I can do is reassure her that she is a good person, try to lift her up the best I can, and teach her a better way. I'm frustrated, sad, and pissed off. Sometimes you just need to vent on the internet. :)

xoxo, Summer

The Bachelor Week 6: New Zealand

After being slightly disappointed with this current season, last week’s episode gave me renewed hope and excitement to keep watching. Y’all, I really don’t know exactly what it is about Juan Pablo that just kind of turns me off. I can’t even believe I’m saying that! I was super excited about him being the new Bachelor, as was everyone else, right? But he really is a bit of a let down. Everything he says just sounds so insincere to me! Anyone else getting that vibe? I actually think that in real life he’s probably a good guy, but it just doesn’t translate to television. I couldn’t tell you why.  That being said, I’m glad the drama is back. I’ll still watch for the entertainment value, but JP is hard to take seriously. Anyway, that’s my rant. On to last night’s episode….

Can I just start off by commenting on how stinking gorgeous New Zealand is? Wow! It’s on my list of place to go one day. So idyllic and beautiful. And what a perfect setting for Andi to finally get her first one on one date! Seoul and Vietnam were great and all, but I’d take NZ any day! So, I loved Andi’s plaid shirt on her date with Juan Pablo. Super cute. They hop on a boat and speed off to who knows where, and all I can think is does she not have a hair elastic with her? I mean, she looks cool and all with her hair blowing behind her in the wind, but can you imagine what a tangled mess that was when they stopped? The things I think about. Weird, I know. Then they proceed to get into what looks like some seriously cold water, based on the fact that she had his coat and scarf on in the boat. So far this date is a stinker! JP takes her into these crazy narrow crevices that are so pretty, and she has no idea where they are going. Hubs thought maybe they were going to be dinosaurs on the other side? (Yes, I made hubs watch with me. Poor guy.) Anyway, they make it through the passageways without getting stuck, and then suddenly the date is awesome, because the light at the end of the tunnel is a warm waterfall! Totally worth the cold water to get there! Gorgeous! Then they had a total Tom Cruise/Elisabeth Shue Cocktail moment and made out in the waterfall, as (@Millsy11374 pointed out on twitter).

If you haven't  seen Cocktail, it's my FAVORITE 80s movie. Watch it. Side note: I love that Andi wore  a one piece bathing suit. She totally rocked it too.

 

The dinner part of their date was right next to a geyser, which conveniently went off for them. So cool. I still really like the two of them together. Great chemistry, and she's by far my favorite. They make out a little, and of course she gets the rose, which he pulls out of his coat. Cute.

 

While JP and Andi are on their date, the group date card shows up. Everyone’s name but Clare’s is on it, so she’s obviously getting the second one on one, and I’m sure the girls are just loving that. Oh well. On the group date the next day the go downhill in OGOs.

 

 

If you didn’t watch, OGOs are those giant inflatable balls where you get inside and roll down a hill. Screams motion sickness to me. Another stinker of a date. But then comes the dinner portion, and suddenly the date has totally redeemed itself! I’m going to out myself as a total dork right now, but if I got to go on a date to Hobbiton, I would totally “geek out” as Sharleen put it. I’m right there with you panda! I mean, how cool is that? By the way, I don’t think we’ve seen Sharleen this happy all season! Like, she was genuinely smiling!  Loved it!

 

So Juan Pablo has his time with most of the girls. Makes out with Rene,

 

 

makes out with Nikki,

 

 

can’t even say two words to Sharleen before he’s making out with her too.

 

 

Seriously, she tried to awkwardly converse with him per usual, but he didn’t even let her get a full sentence out I don’t think. She thinks this whole process is “inorganic”, and he’s all, “shut up, let’s make out.” He let’s Cassandra talk though. And talk, and talk, and talk. And he looks so bored and uninterested the whole time!

 

 

Terrible poker face JP. He should of just kissed her if he wanted to shut her up. Works on everyone else! So, Sharleen ends up getting the group date rose, and Cassandra gets the boot. ON Her BIRTHDAY! Not like we all didn’t see this one coming. He tells her he doesn’t want her to wait until the rose ceremony, because that’s two more days she would be away from her son. I think it was the right move to send her home, but I also think he probably could have done it in Vietnam. Oh well. She acts like it’s the end of the world, and she’s been waiting SOOOO long to find the right guy. Can someone please remind her that she’s only 22? Not even 22 for 24 whole hours yet! You have all the time in the world Cassandra. And did anyone else notice the seriously intense exit music? It was nice, but maybe a little over dramatic? Teensy bit?

Clare’s one on one date is next, and isn’t that what we’ve all been waiting to see? I know I was dying to see how this was going to play out. She’s going into in expecting an apology from Juan Pablo. She basically gets one. He tries to explain that he doesn’t kiss girlfriends in front of Camilla, or even hold hands. I guess television doesn’t count though? Hmm. Clare’s appeased, and they make out. Duh.

I’m still so annoyed by her. I did like the part of the date where they changed into sweats and just hung out. That would have been totally cute if it had been anyone but Clare. Of course she gets the rose, then they make out some more. Blah blah blah.

Cocktail party night, and Chris Harrison finally makes another appearance! Yay! Where have they been keeping him this season? I miss him! Glad he’s emerged to do the pre-rose ceremony guy talk session with Juan Pablo. The cocktail party ended up being super tense and uncomfortable. Nikki gets her one on one time, and they make out. Duh.

 

Oh yeah, and apparently JP wears pink underwear? Mmmkay. Good to know? Mama Rene gets her time as well, and they make out too.

 

I just love Rene. She’s so awesome. But I’ve said it before, she’s not going to end up with Juan Pablo. I hope she finds someone though. She really deserves too. The conversations with Chelsie and Kat were a little less, "romantic", shall we say? No kissing. But again, JP fails at hiding his lack of interest.  This is his "I'm totally listening to you and care about your feelings" face.

 

My prediction was that Kat would be the one going home this week, and I was right. Not as many tears were shed this week. From the girls and Juan Pablo I mean. There were plenty from Kat. Were they perhaps glad to see her go?

So, In summary, here are this week's make out stats. Juan Pablo made out with 5 out of 8 ladies, on 10 different occasions. Is this a new record? I hope someone can answer that question for me. I'm curious to know if another bachelor has topped that. And someone cover Camilla's eyes!

 

The scenes from next week look AWESOME! Can’t wait for some catfighting! Clare vs. Nikki……I feel like Nikki may take this one! I’m thinking there will be tears from Clare. We’ll see. And my guess is Chelsie will go home, and possibly Rene. Unless Sharleen decides to leave on her own, which is a very strong possibility.

What are your thought? Any predictions for next week in Miami?

 

Footnote: Why, oh why, was there a poo fight? Seriously, why? Unless you are a monkey, this is never, ever, EVER OK. Ever. Do Not Fling Poo. Gross.

 

 

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The Bachelor is Back! Hola Juan Pablo!

Oh how I love Bachelor season! I know it's super cheesy and the drama and romance is totally manufactured, but I just can't get enough! And my hubby knows that in our house Bachelor Monday means he has dinner and bedtime duty. What can I say, I'm a sucker for reality TV!

 

 

This new season has been hyped SOOOOO much even I'm already kind of sick of hearing the name Juan Pablo! However, I'm still excited that he's the new bachelor. I will admit that after Sunday and Monday's episodes, I don't see a lot there. Yes, he's gorgeous, and the accent is to die for. But I just don't think there's a lot of depth there. Guess what? I don't care! I'm still watching! And I will enjoy it just as much as ever! So here are my highlights. I in no way want to be mean or hurt anyone's feelings, or judge. But hey, when you go on a reality TV show you're kind of putting yourself out there to be judged right? I'll be nice though....

 

So, who watched last night? Overall, I liked the girls as a group. There were a few I liked more than others of course. And of course there were some crazies......The limo exits were relatively unexciting and definitely less gimmicky than other seasons, thank goodness. Hardly anyone tried to speak Spanish, which was a welcome surprise. But let's start with the fashion. I feel like last night was even worse than seasons past when it comes the dresses. Why is it so hard for these girls to pick out a decent gown? It's not prom (Christy and Lauren H.), and you're not in a pageant (Lacy, Kyle, and Cassandra)! Amy J. and Danielle, just, no. I can't deal with the amount of tacky I saw. But there were some decent choices. Clare's pink dress was my favorite I think. Nikki's black studded dress, Kat's red, and honorable mention goes to Andi and Sharleen. Like I said, I don't want to be mean. All theses girls are beautiful smart girls. I just happen to disagree with some of their fashion choices. Strongly.

 

After just one episode I already have my frontrunners. My top four are, in no particular order, Andi, Kat, Nikki, and Clare. Nikki was actually my personal favorite (besides Molly the dog).  Super cute and seemed very down to earth. I thought Juan Pablo and Andi had the best chemistry and seemed very natural together. I give her runner up. Besides these four I also think Renee and Chelsie will stick around for a while. In my opinion JP did well with his eliminations, for the most part.

 

There was less crazy than I was expecting last night, which was kind of disappointing actually. I love a good train wreck. Looks like there's plenty more coming this season though, so at least we have that to look forward to, right? So who were the stand out crazies? If you watched I don't have to tell you! Wow......Amy J. with the massage table - no. And poor poor Lauren H. I felt so bad for her! You're "over" your ex? Sure you are. That was the most uncomfortable one on one convo. Yikes. Good thing she went home, because it's pretty obvious she couldn't handle it. I wanted to give her a hug. Cassandra's entrance, probably not as awkward as it was edited to look like, but still painful to watch. And then there's "free spirit" Lucy. I can't even handle it. I really wanted to like her, and I'm sure she's a very sweet person. But she needs to put on some shoes.

 

I have two favorite moments from last night. First, when poor confused Kylie thought he said her name. "Kat". So embarrassing. Ugh. But the very best, and I mean, the best I've seen on the Bachelor or Bachelorette that I can remember was Sharleen! She totally surprised me! Her limo exit and introduction made me think of Velma from Scooby Doo, but in a good way. And she seemed oh so uncomfortable. I so did not see her getting that first impression rose. "Sure". Oh my gosh, that was such an awkward wonderful moment, and Juan Pablo was so completely oblivious. I loved it! And she said weiner. How can you not love her? I can't wait to see how their relationship is going to play out. I can totally see her leaving the show on her own accord.

 

All in all this looks like an awesome season! Contemplating posting my thoughts on each weeks episode, but we'll see how that goes. Also, I can't wait for the crying on the bathroom floor.  Don't judge me.

 

Who are your favs from last night? I want to know!