Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The Bachelor Week 6: New Zealand

After being slightly disappointed with this current season, last week’s episode gave me renewed hope and excitement to keep watching. Y’all, I really don’t know exactly what it is about Juan Pablo that just kind of turns me off. I can’t even believe I’m saying that! I was super excited about him being the new Bachelor, as was everyone else, right? But he really is a bit of a let down. Everything he says just sounds so insincere to me! Anyone else getting that vibe? I actually think that in real life he’s probably a good guy, but it just doesn’t translate to television. I couldn’t tell you why.  That being said, I’m glad the drama is back. I’ll still watch for the entertainment value, but JP is hard to take seriously. Anyway, that’s my rant. On to last night’s episode….

Can I just start off by commenting on how stinking gorgeous New Zealand is? Wow! It’s on my list of place to go one day. So idyllic and beautiful. And what a perfect setting for Andi to finally get her first one on one date! Seoul and Vietnam were great and all, but I’d take NZ any day! So, I loved Andi’s plaid shirt on her date with Juan Pablo. Super cute. They hop on a boat and speed off to who knows where, and all I can think is does she not have a hair elastic with her? I mean, she looks cool and all with her hair blowing behind her in the wind, but can you imagine what a tangled mess that was when they stopped? The things I think about. Weird, I know. Then they proceed to get into what looks like some seriously cold water, based on the fact that she had his coat and scarf on in the boat. So far this date is a stinker! JP takes her into these crazy narrow crevices that are so pretty, and she has no idea where they are going. Hubs thought maybe they were going to be dinosaurs on the other side? (Yes, I made hubs watch with me. Poor guy.) Anyway, they make it through the passageways without getting stuck, and then suddenly the date is awesome, because the light at the end of the tunnel is a warm waterfall! Totally worth the cold water to get there! Gorgeous! Then they had a total Tom Cruise/Elisabeth Shue Cocktail moment and made out in the waterfall, as (@Millsy11374 pointed out on twitter).

If you haven't  seen Cocktail, it's my FAVORITE 80s movie. Watch it. Side note: I love that Andi wore  a one piece bathing suit. She totally rocked it too.
The dinner part of their date was right next to a geyser, which conveniently went off for them. So cool. I still really like the two of them together. Great chemistry, and she's by far my favorite. They make out a little, and of course she gets the rose, which he pulls out of his coat. Cute.

While JP and Andi are on their date, the group date card shows up. Everyone’s name but Clare’s is on it, so she’s obviously getting the second one on one, and I’m sure the girls are just loving that. Oh well. On the group date the next day the go downhill in OGOs.
If you didn’t watch, OGOs are those giant inflatable balls where you get inside and roll down a hill. Screams motion sickness to me. Another stinker of a date. But then comes the dinner portion, and suddenly the date has totally redeemed itself! I’m going to out myself as a total dork right now, but if I got to go on a date to Hobbiton, I would totally “geek out” as Sharleen put it. I’m right there with you panda! I mean, how cool is that? By the way, I don’t think we’ve seen Sharleen this happy all season! Like, she was genuinely smiling!  Loved it!
So Juan Pablo has his time with most of the girls. Makes out with Rene,
makes out with Nikki,
can’t even say two words to Sharleen before he’s making out with her too.
Seriously, she tried to awkwardly converse with him per usual, but he didn’t even let her get a full sentence out I don’t think. She thinks this whole process is “inorganic”, and he’s all, “shut up, let’s make out.” He let’s Cassandra talk though. And talk, and talk, and talk. And he looks so bored and uninterested the whole time!
Terrible poker face JP. He should of just kissed her if he wanted to shut her up. Works on everyone else! So, Sharleen ends up getting the group date rose, and Cassandra gets the boot. ON Her BIRTHDAY! Not like we all didn’t see this one coming. He tells her he doesn’t want her to wait until the rose ceremony, because that’s two more days she would be away from her son. I think it was the right move to send her home, but I also think he probably could have done it in Vietnam. Oh well. She acts like it’s the end of the world, and she’s been waiting SOOOO long to find the right guy. Can someone please remind her that she’s only 22? Not even 22 for 24 whole hours yet! You have all the time in the world Cassandra. And did anyone else notice the seriously intense exit music? It was nice, but maybe a little over dramatic? Teensy bit?

Clare’s one on one date is next, and isn’t that what we’ve all been waiting to see? I know I was dying to see how this was going to play out. She’s going into in expecting an apology from Juan Pablo. She basically gets one. He tries to explain that he doesn’t kiss girlfriends in front of Camilla, or even hold hands. I guess television doesn’t count though? Hmm. Clare’s appeased, and they make out. Duh.
I’m still so annoyed by her. I did like the part of the date where they changed into sweats and just hung out. That would have been totally cute if it had been anyone but Clare. Of course she gets the rose, then they make out some more. Blah blah blah.
Cocktail party night, and Chris Harrison finally makes another appearance! Yay! Where have they been keeping him this season? I miss him! Glad he’s emerged to do the pre-rose ceremony guy talk session with Juan Pablo. The cocktail party ended up being super tense and uncomfortable. Nikki gets her one on one time, and they make out. Duh.
Oh yeah, and apparently JP wears pink underwear? Mmmkay. Good to know? Mama Rene gets her time as well, and they make out too.
I just love Rene. She’s so awesome. But I’ve said it before, she’s not going to end up with Juan Pablo. I hope she finds someone though. She really deserves too. The conversations with Chelsie and Kat were a little less, "romantic", shall we say? No kissing. But again, JP fails at hiding his lack of interest.  This is his "I'm totally listening to you and care about your feelings" face.
My prediction was that Kat would be the one going home this week, and I was right. Not as many tears were shed this week. From the girls and Juan Pablo I mean. There were plenty from Kat. Were they perhaps glad to see her go?

So, In summary, here are this week's make out stats. Juan Pablo made out with 5 out of 8 ladies, on 10 different occasions. Is this a new record? I hope someone can answer that question for me. I'm curious to know if another bachelor has topped that. And someone cover Camilla's eyes!
The scenes from next week look AWESOME! Can’t wait for some catfighting! Clare vs. Nikki……I feel like Nikki may take this one! I’m thinking there will be tears from Clare. We’ll see. And my guess is Chelsie will go home, and possibly Rene. Unless Sharleen decides to leave on her own, which is a very strong possibility.

What are your thought? Any predictions for next week in Miami?

Footnote: Why, oh why, was there a poo fight? Seriously, why? Unless you are a monkey, this is never, ever, EVER OK. Ever. Do Not Fling Poo. Gross.

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